Some time ago, we rolled and rejoiced, together in the rush.
Laughing between wrinkled sheets, we knew our future to be flush.
Now, how dangerously innocent it seems
to not have known our twirling love
was wagering our dreams.
Blind to the great gamble of creating
a life, and a death,
with the birth of our second child, we shot
into the realm of the bereft.
How to keep inching forward
when we can sense the final play?
The house always wins.
We will lose him either way.
Broken-hearted and bankrupt,
should I bargain for more time?
Or, if even possible, could I trade
his demise with mine?
Ooo my dear,
what sweet power it would be
to reshuffle and stack the deck, just right
for you and me.
What an awesome thing it is to create a life and fill it with love. This poem was written during a time of deep grieving. The more I move into my journey with Alden, the less I feel cheated or bankrupt. Alden is joyful, innocent, curious. He is a reflection of the good. We may never again trust the gamble of pregnancy; but, we can trust the good we continue to create and hold.